Freewrite: January 31, 2011

Today is Monday. Ugh. Mondays are my least favorite. I get to spend the weekend sleeping in late, but then I have to get up early to come to school. Gross. This weekend, however, was a lot of fun. On Friday night, I stayed home and did nothing. It was wonderful. Even though I could have gone out and done something, I really felt like just sitting at home with my family. My Saturday was kind of busy. In the morning, I went for a run and did my chores so that I could go into town with Lindsey for a few hours! We went to Anna Sophia's (really odd store) and then we went downtown and walked around. We are going prom dress shopping this weekend, so we decided that we would go to Gracie's Bridal and a few other places to look at dresses and get an idea of what we wanted. I found one that I absolutely fell in love with and she found one that she loved as well. Hers was a navy mermaid style dress that fit her perfectly. Mine was a white dress with a huge blue floral print across it. IT WAS GORGEOUS. The dress was a size 18, though, so I didn't get a true idea of exactly how poofy it would be, but it is the dress that I want to buy. However, at almost $350, it won't be coming home with me even though I want it to. I have to find a less expensive one. Oh well- shopping on Saturday got me and Lindsey really excited for this Saturday! On Saturday night, I babysat two boys. They live in a golf community, so the houses were fantastic. The boys were rowdy, but a lot of fun. I'm hoping to babysit them again sometime soon. On Sunday, my whole family came over for my Aunt's birthday. Cameron came over, too, and it was just a wonderful day :)

WORD COUNT: 328

Freewrite: January 28, 2011

I'm not really sure what I want to write about today. This weekend I'm not really doing anything, which will be kind of nice! I love having nothing to do. It makes the weekend so much more relaxing. Next weekend, however, I'm going prom dress shopping with Lindsey! I'm really excited for that. We are going to go up to Joplin with our moms and try to find some cute dresses that you wouldn't find around here. I want something different for my senior prom. When I realize how close we actually are to graduating, it kind of blows my mind. I think about it a lot these days... how close we are to graduating, I mean. We have less than 4 months until we are thrown out into the big bad adult world. It's kind of scary, but at the same time, it's really exciting! I will be in college in less than 7 months! Insane! I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I'm excited to have a little bit more freedom (hopefully), but since I decided to live at home to save some money up, I don't know how much freedom I will really be getting. I also talked to Mr. Grauf the other day about changing my mind and I am now going to be a double major for Elementary Education and Social Work! As tough as it may be, I'm really excited. I'm hoping it will open more doors for me as far as job opportunities go and I think I would love either of those positions. However, taking 20 hours a semester is going to be difficult. I'm sure I can do it, but it is going to stress me out. Teaching already takes more credit hours than MSU actually requires to graduate, so adding on a few more hours each semester is going to be hard. Oh well! I will get the opportunity to possibly have one of my dream jobs and it will be worth it for that :)

WORD COUNT: 340

Freewrite: January 26, 2011

I have recently been thinking a lot about what I really want to do with my life (because of the newspaper article the other day)... and I think I've found something that fits me better than teaching. Although I love teaching, I think what I love about it is the fact that I'm working with kids and helping to make them better. However, I don't think teaching is the way I want to impact childrens' lives. I think I want to be a social worker at a place like the Pregnancy Care Center. I want to talk with people that are going to be parents and have either chosen to keep their children or give them up for adoption. I think that social work can open a lot more doors for working the type of job that I see myself working. I see myself working with troubled youth, and even more, I see myself working with pregnant teens, teen parents, and their children. I want to help provide them with things they wouldn't have had otherwise like resources for child care and things like diapers, wipes, and bottles. I don't just want to work with the teens that have accepting parents and a good support system- in fact, I'd rather not work with them. I want to work with the kids whose parents don't support their decision or teens who just have no place to turn. I want to be that place, and I think social work can really help me with that. Although I love teaching and I love the kids that I work with when I cadet teach, I really think that I can impact more lives the way I want to if I were to become a social worker. I'm pretty excited :)

WORD COUNT: 296

Freewrite: January 24, 2011

I have been thinking a lot this weekend about what I want to do with my life. I know for sure that I want to get married, go to college, have kids, etc., but I have been a little thrown off my path when it comes to deciding what my career will be. I was reading the News-Leader on Sunday morning and the main articles were about the homeless and how they were shelterless as well. In the Springfield area, there is not a place for them to stay year-round. The only time they have a place to stay is when the weather is below 20 degrees! That seems really insufficient and sad to me. The articles were talking about how Springfield could really use a shelter that would be open all year for the homeless to stay- and one that would be boundary-less as well. That would mean that all types of people could stay there- men, women, children, drug addicts, drunks, etc. Right now, the churches and other places that sponsor the emergency shelters have boundaries regarding who can stay there, so they are really in need of someone to open a shelter that will not have the boundaries and just let all who need a place to stay for a while come. As I thought about it, it actually seemed like something I would be interested in doing. I know it would be a ton of hard work, but it would be so rewarding knowing that I am helping people who can't help the situation they are in. I also know that I was thinking of leaning more towards helping teen moms, but I think helping in general is what will make me happy. I need some more freewrite time and a chat with Mr. Grauf to see what exactly I would need to do to prepare for a career in non- profit business/shelters :)

WORD COUNT: 318

Freewrite: January 19, 2011

I guess the main idea of The Alchemist is not really a question for me, but more of a statement. I believe that this book makes people wonder what their true potential is and what they are truly meant to do. It lets you know that the journey to finding your dreams and what you are meant to do is not going to be easy and that the path will not be a straight one. I guess it kind of asks whether you are willing to take a risk and give everything up just to take a chance on finding your personal legend. It says that everyone could figure out their personal legend, but most do not take the time to find it and instead become content with their current life. When I was reading the book, it made me wonder if I was ever going to become content with my life and not go for my biggest dreams. I think it also made me wonder how a person will know when they find their personal legend. Will I ever get to the point where I think I've found mine but in reality it's just another small step towards my personal legend? In one of my other blogs, I talked about what I thought my personal legend may be, but even as I wrote those I wondered if that was really what I was meant to do in my life. I think this book provokes questions that people think of in their everyday journeys through life. Who am I supposed to be? Why am I here? I really enjoyed trying to figure out my personal legend, but I don't think that's the way it works. I think that you will only be able to discover your personal legend as you go through life because every twist and turn changes you just a little bit, so you may not know exactly what your personal legend is until a certain point.

WORD COUNT: 329

Freewrite: January 14, 2011

So, yesterday I planned on voting for Courtwarming, but I never got around to it, and I planned on doing it today. However, I found out after school that I would not get the chance to vote because they had already announced the top 5 senior boys! I'm really excited for this group... one, because Cameron is one of them (yay!), and two, because all of the guys are great people. So congrats to Cameron, Parker, Tim, Kyle, and Tyler on being on the 2011 Senior Courtwarming Court! It's a lot of fun. I'm really excited to escort Cameron (that sounds kind of goofy), but I loved getting to do it back in October, so I can't wait for next Friday! I'm kind of nervous, though, because I don't want to spend a lot of money, and I need to find a dress to either borrow or buy! I only have a week, so it's kind of short notice, but I'm hoping I will find someone with a cute dress that I can borrow! Switching topics here- I'm really starting to realize how much the end of this year is sneaking up on me. I realize it's coming, but I guess I didn't realize just how fast until recently. Prom is 4 months away, courtwarming is only a week away,
and these past few weeks have gone by crazy fast! It's insane. Time is going to fly by in these next few months and we will finally have graduated from high school! I'm not going to say I've always loved it, but it has been a great experience. I'm still not sure how I'm going to feel when we're finally done, so I'm starting to get a little nervous:)

WORD COUNT: 289

Freewrite: January 13, 2011

In my life, one of the most important things that has ever happened to me was becoming a foster family. I can't remember what it felt like when we first started (I was about 4 years old.), but I can remember what it felt like when we stopped. I know why we stopped, but I don't understand how we stopped. To me, it was really hard to realize that these kids wouldn't be coming in and out of our home anymore and that was devastating to me. I got to help take care of them and I felt like although it was probably best for our family, I was angry and wanted to keep doing as long as I could. Why did I feel like that? What made it so important to me? Why did it feel like my whole life just ended when we stopped taking in foster kids? Why is it still so important to me? Why do I feel this attachment to all kids- especially the younger ones that need help and someone to look up to in their lives? Was there some specific event in the 12 years we did foster care that made me feel like I was meant to do that for the rest of my life or was it just a culmination of everything in the past ten years? Why do I want to do foster care after I start my own family? Why do I feel such a strong pull to help these kids that I haven't had contact with in years? Was there a specific event that made my Mom realize that she couldn't do foster care anymore? Where are those kids now? Where is the not-so-little boy we wish we would have adopted? Why can't we adopt him now so that he will have a forever family like he should? Why do I have such a strong sense of family?

WORD COUNT: 320

Have I rubbed off on others?
Who has rubbed off on me?

TURNING POINTS IN MY LIFE: Cameron asking me out, my family deciding to become a foster family, my family deciding to stop being a foster family, adopting Jenna & Alex, becoming a high schooler, joining the HS marching band, becoming a part of student staff, becoming a sophomore, Cylee & Gabee being born, going to MSU for Ozarko and realizing that it felt like home and where I was meant to go for college, volunteering at BBBS

Freewrite: January 12, 2011

So, today we are going to have a dicussion about the book, The Alchemist, that we are reading in class. I actually really liked this book. I kind of already finished it... :) It had a lot of lessons in it for me! I really liked how it described our dreams (I can't remember what it called them) because it said that some people go through life without ever doing what they were meant to do or even just knowing what they were meant to do. I believe that everyone is put here for a reason, and that we just have to discover that reason and do what we were meant to do to fulfill that and be truly happy for the rest of our lives. I'm not exactly sure what I was meant to do, but it could be that I was meant to be a Mom. I don't know for sure, but I know that being around kids makes me really happy and taking care of them as they grow up like I have all my life with foster kids and such would make me feel like I had achieved my purpose of being here. It could also have something to do with teaching. I love teaching because I get to see the looks on kids' faces when they finally figure something out. They get so excited and it makes me feel wonderful knowing I can have such a big impact on someone's life! Another thing that could be my purpose could be opening my teen parent help center that I want to open eventually. I really am into helping those that can't really better their situation without others and I think I would do really well trying to help the girls and their little ones. I hope I am one of the people that discovers their true purpose early so I can put all my energy into it :)

WORD COUNT: 322