Freewrite: April 25, 2011

So, today I got an envelope in band. I wasn't sure what it was, but I was kind of hoping it was my invitation to scholarship night next week because it is supposed to have something in it about a local scholarship I may have gotten. Which would be fantastic. But... it wasn't. I opened it to find that I had been nominated for prom court!! I'm so excited! I loved being on homecoming court (and becoming Queen wasn't bad either :P ), but prom court is something completely different because both a Queen AND King will be crowned! And Cameron got nominated for King!! I was hoping it would happen like this :) But I'm also excited because the people I know that are on it are great people! Myranda Lea, Garrett Holle, and Lucas Peterson are the others I know about so far, so I know that we should have a great prom court this year! Also, they are doing a Prince/Princess thing for the juniors... and my brother was nominated for that as well! It could be a family affair :) but I will be proud to have been nominated to the court no matter what because it is really an honor and I have so many memories from homecoming and courtwarming, so prom will just be another great thing! :) :) :) On another note, tonight is our last concert band concert... I'm not too sad about that, but at the same time, it's kind of depressing knowing that this is the last one I will play in :/ Only 16 days of school left!!!

Oh- 47 months we have been together (that's 3 years and 11 months) :)

WORD COUNT: 283

Freewrite: April 22, 2011

To be or not to be a teacher. That is the question. Am I still considering not becoming an education major? Of course. But would I be crazy to not do something I'm great and truly enjoy because of some things I read recently? Of course! I read this article yesterday that my teacher at Willard North posted on Facebook. It was on some newspaper's website and I'm not sure if he worked there or if it was just an opinion, but it was really well written and thought- provoking. When I started reading it, I was kind of bored with it, but I decided to keep reading because it was about teaching in Missouri. The author was talking about how unfair and illogical this new bill (that has passed) is. The bill allows and changes many things, but I can only remember two or three that really stuck out to me as being wrong. First, the ability to tenure a teacher is now gone. That means that if you are tenured right now, when the bill becomes a law, you won't be anymore. Also, even if you are a year away, you won't be tenured. In some cases, this is good because teachers who should not be teaching anymore can be let go and new teachers can come in, but I don't think it is right to do that to teachers that have been teaching for a while. The next part I can remember is that teachers will be paid by performance starting in 2013 I think. That means that all teachers will be paid based on standardized test scores (and in a 4-tier system). Meaning teachers who, even though they may be fantastic and just have a group of kids that aren't good test takers, will earn up to 60% less than teachers who have students who can take tests! The four tier thing will mean that teachers will be split up into 4 levels of pay. The top tier can make up to 60% more than the lowest tier. It's so unfair. And ridiculous. I HATE STANDARDIZED TESTS. It's going to make all teachers teach to the test. UGH. Kids are not going to be learning anything that will actually be helpful for life! AHHHHHHHHH.

WORD COUNT: 378

Freewrite: April 20, 2011

I'm really excited for these next few months :) So many exciting things are going to happen that I can't wait for. For instance, today I'm going to talk to my meal-time buddy, Leeajiah, about becoming her Big Sister soon! If her parents agree to it, we should be good to go! I love getting to hang out with her each week, and getting to take her places would be a lot of fun! Tomorrow I have my CPR/AED class so that I can get recertified... it should be interesting. Last year's was a lot of fun, but I don't remember the order you do everything in so I will have to be reminded. On April 30, I have my first drumline camp at MSU. All the rookies and veterans will come in and we'll practice in subs and get to know each other a little bit. I'm so excited for that. Not only is it my first "college" activity, but I get to play drums and hang out with people who I will probably become really close to in the next year. May 5 is the Big Brothers Big Sisters Banquet where I will be honored as "Buddy of the Year" with a plaque. I don't know how I was awarded this, but I'm really happy I did. I just go because I love it. I'm altruistic :) Prom is May 7- I can't wait! I love my dress and accessories, and I'm getting my hair and nails done and going tanning! I'm putting a lot more work (and, consequently, money) into this year than I did last year, but I think it will be worth it for the memories I will have. Scholarship Night is May 10 and I will finally find out if I get any local scholarships that will help me pay for college! We graduate May 20!!!! Me and Cameron's FOURTH anniversary is May 25 :) <3 The WAC opens May 28! So many things happening just in a month... and there's so much more happening in the months after that :) My life is about to get super busy!

WORD COUNT: 355

Freewrite: April 15, 2011

I was kind of hoping today would be a writing marathon day since I didn't get to go when everyone else went in the fall, but now I can't think of anything to write. Soooooooooo..... this week has been pretty exciting. Or at least these last two days have been. I had my audition to get into the MSU Drumline on Wednesday and I was super nervous. However, once I was there I realized that I would be auditioning for John Sullivan- our color guard instructor! That made me less nervous, but I still stopped a few times. That was disappointing, but he said they would send me an offer in the coming weeks!! I have a camp on April 30 which is really exciting because both the rookies and the vets will be there so it will be our first time meeting and getting to know who next year's potential drumline is! I already got the music for that day, and it is fantastic! I have parts memorized from listening to it yesterday, but I'm not sure that's a good thing considering I don't know what drum I'll be on! Oh well :) Yesterday I had my "interview" with Brandon at the Willard Aquatic Center where I've worked for two years. We talked about a lot of things but we especially talked about the responsibilities I will have this summer. I really like getting to be a shift leader and taking more responsibility, and when I told him that, he told me what he wants me to do this summer. I will get to be front desk/concessions "manager" and swim lesson "coordinator/manager." I don't know my official title, but with the front desk stuff, I will get to take inventory, purchase items for the pool if necessary, keep everything organized, possibly make schedules for people, and just run it in general. I don't have to be there every day, but I will probably be there a lot. With the swim lesson stuff, I will get to teach and run all of the lessons. I will schedule private lessons (and hopefully still teach some) and I will assist other teachers in teaching their classes or individuals when necessary. I'm really excited to get that much more responsibility this summer :) WORD COUNT: 380

Freewrite: April 13, 2011

I am so tired. It's way too early to be in a class where I have to think. If I could create my dream job, I would teach, but it wouldn't start early. We would start at 9 AM and be done by 2 or 3 PM. That would be great. I really want to come back to and teach at Willard, however, so that won't happen. I also want to live in Willard. Thankfully Cameron does, too, so there won't have to be any fighting about that. When I'm in college, I want to live in Springfield, but not downtown, and not on a super busy street. My dream house would be in Willard. It would be 3000 or 4000 square feet- big, I know, but I want at least 4 kids. I want my house to be on some acreage, but I don't want to own a farm. I don't want chickens, cows, or pigs. Ducks would be okay, however :) The kitchen would be huge, and the house would be open concept. There would be a library for all my books, and a big playroom and tons of bedrooms for the kids. The backyard would have a treehouse and a hammock and a porch swing on my wrap-around porch. There would be a play yard for the kids, a pool, and a jacuzzi. I want to take care of foster kids, so the house would always be loud. I want to always have family and friends over, so that the house is never empty. I would love for it to look modern, but cozy. Simple, clean lines with bright colors and beautiful woodwork. My house would look like a 1930s home. Gorgeous, but big. Not small. :) WORD COUNT: 290

Freewrite: April 11, 2011

Inspiration... inspiration... inspiration... english paper. Band audition. So, our english papers have to be stamped by Friday... eek. Scary. I really REALLY need to work on mine tonight so that I can at least get a probation stamp by then. I also have my band audition at MSU on Wednesday and I have barely played it on a drum. AHHHHH. That's really scary. I would love to make it into the Pride's drumline- not just for the band grant that I could get, but for the fact that I love being on a drumline and the camraderie that it brings. I really hope I don't mess up like I did last year on my solo at Districts. I played really well, except for the 6 times or so that I stopped and started again. If I do that, they hopefully won't take off too much because I am showing my playing ability- I just get nervous in front of crowds and hate playing by myself. And besides, playing on a bass is nothing like playing on a concert snare. Give me a bass line (a good one preferably) and I'll show you how well I can play. I just hope they give me a chance and allow me to show them how good I am beyond what I can play on a snare. I'm really excited, but at the same time, I'm really nervous because if I don't get in, that would kind of make me feel like a failure. Which sucks. Meeting people from other schools that we have competed against in the past who would then be in the same drumline as me would be one of coolest and strangest things I have ever experienced. I feel like Willard's band is special, but I know that once I get out there and talk to other people, Willard's kids are just like the rest. Yes, we are good, but I'm talking about the friendships and family atmosphere that we have. I'm glad that everyone else has gotten to experience it, because I don't know who I would have been without being in band. I can't wait to meet others who can tell me about their experiences and see how good they are and all that stuff. I really hope I make the drumline because it could be one of the best experiences of my life. :) WORD COUNT: 397

Freewrite: April 4, 2011

My favorite thing to wear is my necklace Cameron gave me. He gave it to me for Christmas in 2007 and I wore it everyday (until I lost it during Courtwarming :( :( ). It had a silver heart on it at first, but I also added a piece of another necklace onto it that he gave me when we went to Hawaii in 2008. It was a white flower, and I had purchased the ring that matched it earlier, but I didn't have enough money to buy both. He surprised me, though, when he got it for me. It was really, really special to me, and somehow it got lost in all the commotion of Courtwarming. I'm still hoping to find it somewhere... but thinking about that got me thinking about Hawaii and all the memories from there. I remember getting everything ready in the gym of the high school and trying to say goodbye without crying too much and trying to fit my little pillow in my backpack. I remember wishing I could ride with Cameron's group, but still having to split up. I remember watching some comedy video before falling asleep for the drive to KC. I remember waiting for the plane for hours and sleeping on the floor of the airport. I remember getting breakfast at 3 AM because we were starving. I remember flying over the ocean and thinking we were getting close, and then looking up at the TV to see we were only halfway there. I remember getting to Hawaii and getting leis, but having awful, puffy eyes and a stuffy nose because I was allergic to the flowers. I remember getting on the bus to go to the hotel, and sitting in the lobby while they introduced us. That's only the beginning, but I remember so many things from that trip that I didn't think I remembered. I can't wait to go back :) WORD COUNT: 322

Freewrite: April 1, 2011

Today is Friday! Finally! This week kind of went by slowly, so I'm glad it's over. All of the local scholarships were due yesterday by 3 PM, and I turned mine in around 8 AM, so my stress was gone for all of yesterday, which was nice considering I had our Regional FTA meeting to go to. There were a total of 8 students from WHS that went, and I thought that was a lot, but when we got there, I think the biggest number I heard was 24! And they weren't big schools or school districts like Springfield... however, I don't think all of them were there because they want to be teachers when they grow up. I think they just wanted to miss school. I don't blame them, but if you are going to go somewhere and listen to people speak just so you can miss school, at least be quiet so that other people who actually WANT to be there can hear what's going on. For instance, Dr. Medlin was our keynote speaker. He did a fantastic job, but the whole time he was speaking, there were about four girls in the row behind me who talked the ENTIRE TIME! I really wanted to turn around and ask them if they were the keynote speaker (or just tell them to shut up), but I decided I would be the mature future teacher and just sit there. I wish people would realize that even if it isn't what you want to do, other people may be really interested in it, so they should at least show some respect and allow learning to occur for those who want to be there. And if you are just going to talk, stay at school. Don't waste Dr. Medlin's time by talking while he's speaking for twenty minutes. That's just stupid and immature. Also, when the director of teaching placement opportunites at Missouri State University is speaking about how best to get a teaching job, and one of the things she points out is how you would look to others, and says, for instance if you are paying attention right now instead of talking, and how that would give you a smaller chance of getting one of those few teaching jobs and you are STILL TALKING, ugh. Pay attention and learn something, or go home. I don't want to be your coworker if you can't even pay attention in a meeting. Gosh. WORD COUNT: 410

Freewrite: March 30, 2011

[FIRST- I hate slow computers.] Anyways- I've been thinking a lot recently about college and exactly what I want to do with my life... I thought I had decided, but now I'm not so sure (again). I think I've probably changed my mind at least 10 times during high school... with more than half of those changes in the last year or two. I think I want to be a teacher. Yesterday I was in my FTA class with my fourth graders and I needed to take some pictures to give to Mrs. Hall, so we played "Stump the Teacher" and I helped them get started with relearning how to put words in order. It made me realize how much I truly enjoy it. I also found out that I am definitely going to be able to go on the Jeff City trip with them and even have my own little group to chaperone and supervise! I'm so excited! It will be like being a teacher and I can't wait:) WORD COUNT: 170

Freewrite: March 28, 2011

Spring break is over... ugh. I can't wait until school is over for good. This little tease called "spring break" was nothing. It just made me want summer break that much more. I worked at SportClips (a lot), so I made money, but it's not like I had that money to spend right after I earned it. Shopping could have made my break better! I just felt like I was super busy the whole time and never actually got a "break." SportClips is getting better... I feel like I'm learning a lot of stuff I didn't know when I started a few weeks ago. Last night we had a meeting (that lasted way too long, but that's another story) and we talked a lot about consistency and making sure that we keep giving customers what they come to us for (a championship haircut experience for men and boys in an exciting sports environment :P ) and not just getting bored and tired of it and not giving the same treatment to all of these customers especially if they have never been to a SportClips before. We also talked about branding and what we could do to make SportClips stand out and what stylists could do to make themselves stand out as the stylist someone will want to come back to. I think that kind of works in life, too- we brand ourselves so that we stand out and people will want to be friends with us (or not- if thats what you want). Whether it's with clothing, personality, actions, or anything else, we all brand ourselves to be different. No one wants to be branded the same. WORD COUNT: 277

Freewrite: March 16, 2011

Silence... can be deafening. It can feel different in different situations. The silence between a mother and her teenage daughter after they fight- you can feel the anger in the air. The silence when a father is looking at his newborn baby boy and imagining all the things they will do together as he gets older- the silence is love. The silence of an old man sitting teary-eyed under a bridge after losing everything he had- it makes you think and wonder how he got there. The silence of a little boy staring up at an adult- the silence is discovery. Silence can feel so many different ways. It's crazy. I guess a lot of things can be felt in silence- such as anger, love, wonder, discovery, etc. I've never thought of it that way before. I hate silence. It makes me think too much about whatever is currently happening in my life- and it's usually not the good parts I'm thinking about. Silence doesn't have to mean perfectly quiet either. When I'm at work at SportClips, eventually the sounds of the games on the TVs fade to the background, and it becomes "silent." The TVs just become a natural part of the room- something I barely hear anymore. I'm sure in other places that it feels like that, too- silence that isn't perfectly quiet, but is still silence- sort of, anyways.

WORD COUNT: 232

Freewrite: March 9, 2011

I'm not sure what to write about. I guess I will write about how we only have 2 months left of school. Holy cow. It didn't hit me until yesterday when we were talking about our papers and everything else we have to do and someone said, "We have 8 weeks!". Yeah. That was scary. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal or that it would be frightening when I got closer to graduating. I was thinking it would be super exciting and liberating and... yeah, no. It doesn't feel like that. I am really starting to realize how close we are to the end of our 13 year journey and how much my life will change after high school. I'm still going to live at home, but I will be going to school somewhere completely new and different (MSU- yay!). I can't wait to be in college, but at the same time, I'm afraid I will be completely overwhelmed with everything. I'm starting a new job soon and I volunteered to help out with Lifehouse Crisis Maternity Home's first annual gala and I volunteer at BBBS each Wednesday and I'm going to school- AHHHH. Stress. I know that once I'm in college I will be able to choose the hours of my classes and such, but I'm afraid that I won't have time for anything (like volunteering and spending time with friends & family) besides work and school... Hopefully it isn't like that :)

WORD COUNT: 249

Freewrite: March 7, 2011

So, yesterday I went to lunch. Not just a regular lunch- but a planned one. I don't have planned/scheduled lunches very often. This lunch was to meet with the planning committee for the first annual gala for Lifehouse Crisis Maternity Home. Lifehouse is a place that I found through dosomething.org and I eventually got in contact with the founder through facebook. Sharon, the founder, had an abortion when she was 19- something she deeply regrets. She now has 4 wonderful kids and has discovered what God meant for her to do. She started Lifehouse more than a year ago- and an actual house is now in the works so that she can provide 20 women a place to stay throughout their pregnancy if they are going through a crisis (abuse, homelessness, teenage pregnancy, etc.). Anyways, when I found Lifehouse on facebook, I was so excited. It is exactly what I want to do later in life. I want to help take care of those women and their unborn children because I feel like that is where I will be able to impact and help save the babies that I love so dearly. Sharon told me that she will mentor me- something I am very grateful for. Not only does she have experience in the field I am going into, but she has social workers, counselors, and many other people I can talk to to get more information about my future job and what it may entail. The gala is on June 17, and it is going to be held at The Veridian in downtown Springfield. It is a gorgeous place and I cannot wait to help plan this event that will help so many women in our area!! She has so much faith in me and what I can bring to this group- I hope I don't disappoint her! :)

WORD COUNT: 310

Freewrite: March 04, 2011

I got a job yesterday! I'm so excited! I'm going to be an employee of SportClips. My title will be "coordinator/receptionist," but I'll do a lot more than that. I will check people in for their haircuts, check them out, dust shelves, stock shelves, sweep, vaccuum, do laundry, clean the equipment, and much more I'm sure! Bri was the one who told me I should apply because she already works there and I'm so glad I did. Instead of only working 10 hours at the most each week, I'm going to work 20 to 25 hours! The constant flow of money will be really nice considering I'm making hardly anything right now. The owner seems very sweet and caring and I'm glad for that. One thing she told me really stuck out. She said, "You will take something away from this job. In my 40 years in the workforce, I can honestly say I have learned something from every job I've had, and you will be able to say that, too. You will be able to use things you've learned here and apply it to college and just to life in general." I hadn't really thought about jobs like that before- and by that I mean the fact that they can teach you a lot more than you realize you are learning. From the pool, I learned how to be an employee. It was my first job, and hopefully I'll still work there this summer. I learned how to take charge and do things before I was asked. I learned that there are many, many personalities that you have to learn to deal with and sometimes that frustrates me. The Rec Center has taught me how to deal with people and make sure the customer is happy. Bass Pro didn't teach me a lot, but they did teach me what a good company is like.

WORD COUNT: 315

Freewrite: March 02, 2011

Today... is Wednesday. Normally I would be going to BBBS today, but our basketball game against Branson is tonight, so i'm going to miss a week. I wish the game was tomorrow, but I really want to support our team, so I'm going to go watch them up at SBU tonight! I'm excited. Normally, as Cameron likes to point out, I don't really enjoy basketball, but I do enjoy having school spirit and how intense the game becomes when you are sitting in the student section at WHS. Our school is awesome like that- supporting our sports programs a ton. We have the best student section around! I don't know how many people signed up to ride the spirit bus today, but I'm guessing a bunch. I really hope we win tonight! It would be super exciting to be able to make it to state like we did in 2007. The next game is on Saturday- the day that percussion is going to MMPAT in Lebanon. The MMPAT thing should be fun, but I wish there was a way for us to go to the game (if we make it). I really don't know what to write today... I finished my scholarships for MSU last night at 11:35 PM- the deadline was 11:59 PM:) Hopefully I get some scholarships so that I can take all the credit hours I need without having to pay for them or take a loan out for them! I only have to fill out my local scholarship apps and then I will be done :)

WORD COUNT: 260

Freewrite: January 31, 2011

Today is Monday. Ugh. Mondays are my least favorite. I get to spend the weekend sleeping in late, but then I have to get up early to come to school. Gross. This weekend, however, was a lot of fun. On Friday night, I stayed home and did nothing. It was wonderful. Even though I could have gone out and done something, I really felt like just sitting at home with my family. My Saturday was kind of busy. In the morning, I went for a run and did my chores so that I could go into town with Lindsey for a few hours! We went to Anna Sophia's (really odd store) and then we went downtown and walked around. We are going prom dress shopping this weekend, so we decided that we would go to Gracie's Bridal and a few other places to look at dresses and get an idea of what we wanted. I found one that I absolutely fell in love with and she found one that she loved as well. Hers was a navy mermaid style dress that fit her perfectly. Mine was a white dress with a huge blue floral print across it. IT WAS GORGEOUS. The dress was a size 18, though, so I didn't get a true idea of exactly how poofy it would be, but it is the dress that I want to buy. However, at almost $350, it won't be coming home with me even though I want it to. I have to find a less expensive one. Oh well- shopping on Saturday got me and Lindsey really excited for this Saturday! On Saturday night, I babysat two boys. They live in a golf community, so the houses were fantastic. The boys were rowdy, but a lot of fun. I'm hoping to babysit them again sometime soon. On Sunday, my whole family came over for my Aunt's birthday. Cameron came over, too, and it was just a wonderful day :)

WORD COUNT: 328

Freewrite: January 28, 2011

I'm not really sure what I want to write about today. This weekend I'm not really doing anything, which will be kind of nice! I love having nothing to do. It makes the weekend so much more relaxing. Next weekend, however, I'm going prom dress shopping with Lindsey! I'm really excited for that. We are going to go up to Joplin with our moms and try to find some cute dresses that you wouldn't find around here. I want something different for my senior prom. When I realize how close we actually are to graduating, it kind of blows my mind. I think about it a lot these days... how close we are to graduating, I mean. We have less than 4 months until we are thrown out into the big bad adult world. It's kind of scary, but at the same time, it's really exciting! I will be in college in less than 7 months! Insane! I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I'm excited to have a little bit more freedom (hopefully), but since I decided to live at home to save some money up, I don't know how much freedom I will really be getting. I also talked to Mr. Grauf the other day about changing my mind and I am now going to be a double major for Elementary Education and Social Work! As tough as it may be, I'm really excited. I'm hoping it will open more doors for me as far as job opportunities go and I think I would love either of those positions. However, taking 20 hours a semester is going to be difficult. I'm sure I can do it, but it is going to stress me out. Teaching already takes more credit hours than MSU actually requires to graduate, so adding on a few more hours each semester is going to be hard. Oh well! I will get the opportunity to possibly have one of my dream jobs and it will be worth it for that :)

WORD COUNT: 340

Freewrite: January 26, 2011

I have recently been thinking a lot about what I really want to do with my life (because of the newspaper article the other day)... and I think I've found something that fits me better than teaching. Although I love teaching, I think what I love about it is the fact that I'm working with kids and helping to make them better. However, I don't think teaching is the way I want to impact childrens' lives. I think I want to be a social worker at a place like the Pregnancy Care Center. I want to talk with people that are going to be parents and have either chosen to keep their children or give them up for adoption. I think that social work can open a lot more doors for working the type of job that I see myself working. I see myself working with troubled youth, and even more, I see myself working with pregnant teens, teen parents, and their children. I want to help provide them with things they wouldn't have had otherwise like resources for child care and things like diapers, wipes, and bottles. I don't just want to work with the teens that have accepting parents and a good support system- in fact, I'd rather not work with them. I want to work with the kids whose parents don't support their decision or teens who just have no place to turn. I want to be that place, and I think social work can really help me with that. Although I love teaching and I love the kids that I work with when I cadet teach, I really think that I can impact more lives the way I want to if I were to become a social worker. I'm pretty excited :)

WORD COUNT: 296

Freewrite: January 24, 2011

I have been thinking a lot this weekend about what I want to do with my life. I know for sure that I want to get married, go to college, have kids, etc., but I have been a little thrown off my path when it comes to deciding what my career will be. I was reading the News-Leader on Sunday morning and the main articles were about the homeless and how they were shelterless as well. In the Springfield area, there is not a place for them to stay year-round. The only time they have a place to stay is when the weather is below 20 degrees! That seems really insufficient and sad to me. The articles were talking about how Springfield could really use a shelter that would be open all year for the homeless to stay- and one that would be boundary-less as well. That would mean that all types of people could stay there- men, women, children, drug addicts, drunks, etc. Right now, the churches and other places that sponsor the emergency shelters have boundaries regarding who can stay there, so they are really in need of someone to open a shelter that will not have the boundaries and just let all who need a place to stay for a while come. As I thought about it, it actually seemed like something I would be interested in doing. I know it would be a ton of hard work, but it would be so rewarding knowing that I am helping people who can't help the situation they are in. I also know that I was thinking of leaning more towards helping teen moms, but I think helping in general is what will make me happy. I need some more freewrite time and a chat with Mr. Grauf to see what exactly I would need to do to prepare for a career in non- profit business/shelters :)

WORD COUNT: 318

Freewrite: January 19, 2011

I guess the main idea of The Alchemist is not really a question for me, but more of a statement. I believe that this book makes people wonder what their true potential is and what they are truly meant to do. It lets you know that the journey to finding your dreams and what you are meant to do is not going to be easy and that the path will not be a straight one. I guess it kind of asks whether you are willing to take a risk and give everything up just to take a chance on finding your personal legend. It says that everyone could figure out their personal legend, but most do not take the time to find it and instead become content with their current life. When I was reading the book, it made me wonder if I was ever going to become content with my life and not go for my biggest dreams. I think it also made me wonder how a person will know when they find their personal legend. Will I ever get to the point where I think I've found mine but in reality it's just another small step towards my personal legend? In one of my other blogs, I talked about what I thought my personal legend may be, but even as I wrote those I wondered if that was really what I was meant to do in my life. I think this book provokes questions that people think of in their everyday journeys through life. Who am I supposed to be? Why am I here? I really enjoyed trying to figure out my personal legend, but I don't think that's the way it works. I think that you will only be able to discover your personal legend as you go through life because every twist and turn changes you just a little bit, so you may not know exactly what your personal legend is until a certain point.

WORD COUNT: 329

Freewrite: January 14, 2011

So, yesterday I planned on voting for Courtwarming, but I never got around to it, and I planned on doing it today. However, I found out after school that I would not get the chance to vote because they had already announced the top 5 senior boys! I'm really excited for this group... one, because Cameron is one of them (yay!), and two, because all of the guys are great people. So congrats to Cameron, Parker, Tim, Kyle, and Tyler on being on the 2011 Senior Courtwarming Court! It's a lot of fun. I'm really excited to escort Cameron (that sounds kind of goofy), but I loved getting to do it back in October, so I can't wait for next Friday! I'm kind of nervous, though, because I don't want to spend a lot of money, and I need to find a dress to either borrow or buy! I only have a week, so it's kind of short notice, but I'm hoping I will find someone with a cute dress that I can borrow! Switching topics here- I'm really starting to realize how much the end of this year is sneaking up on me. I realize it's coming, but I guess I didn't realize just how fast until recently. Prom is 4 months away, courtwarming is only a week away,
and these past few weeks have gone by crazy fast! It's insane. Time is going to fly by in these next few months and we will finally have graduated from high school! I'm not going to say I've always loved it, but it has been a great experience. I'm still not sure how I'm going to feel when we're finally done, so I'm starting to get a little nervous:)

WORD COUNT: 289

Freewrite: January 13, 2011

In my life, one of the most important things that has ever happened to me was becoming a foster family. I can't remember what it felt like when we first started (I was about 4 years old.), but I can remember what it felt like when we stopped. I know why we stopped, but I don't understand how we stopped. To me, it was really hard to realize that these kids wouldn't be coming in and out of our home anymore and that was devastating to me. I got to help take care of them and I felt like although it was probably best for our family, I was angry and wanted to keep doing as long as I could. Why did I feel like that? What made it so important to me? Why did it feel like my whole life just ended when we stopped taking in foster kids? Why is it still so important to me? Why do I feel this attachment to all kids- especially the younger ones that need help and someone to look up to in their lives? Was there some specific event in the 12 years we did foster care that made me feel like I was meant to do that for the rest of my life or was it just a culmination of everything in the past ten years? Why do I want to do foster care after I start my own family? Why do I feel such a strong pull to help these kids that I haven't had contact with in years? Was there a specific event that made my Mom realize that she couldn't do foster care anymore? Where are those kids now? Where is the not-so-little boy we wish we would have adopted? Why can't we adopt him now so that he will have a forever family like he should? Why do I have such a strong sense of family?

WORD COUNT: 320

Have I rubbed off on others?
Who has rubbed off on me?

TURNING POINTS IN MY LIFE: Cameron asking me out, my family deciding to become a foster family, my family deciding to stop being a foster family, adopting Jenna & Alex, becoming a high schooler, joining the HS marching band, becoming a part of student staff, becoming a sophomore, Cylee & Gabee being born, going to MSU for Ozarko and realizing that it felt like home and where I was meant to go for college, volunteering at BBBS

Freewrite: January 12, 2011

So, today we are going to have a dicussion about the book, The Alchemist, that we are reading in class. I actually really liked this book. I kind of already finished it... :) It had a lot of lessons in it for me! I really liked how it described our dreams (I can't remember what it called them) because it said that some people go through life without ever doing what they were meant to do or even just knowing what they were meant to do. I believe that everyone is put here for a reason, and that we just have to discover that reason and do what we were meant to do to fulfill that and be truly happy for the rest of our lives. I'm not exactly sure what I was meant to do, but it could be that I was meant to be a Mom. I don't know for sure, but I know that being around kids makes me really happy and taking care of them as they grow up like I have all my life with foster kids and such would make me feel like I had achieved my purpose of being here. It could also have something to do with teaching. I love teaching because I get to see the looks on kids' faces when they finally figure something out. They get so excited and it makes me feel wonderful knowing I can have such a big impact on someone's life! Another thing that could be my purpose could be opening my teen parent help center that I want to open eventually. I really am into helping those that can't really better their situation without others and I think I would do really well trying to help the girls and their little ones. I hope I am one of the people that discovers their true purpose early so I can put all my energy into it :)

WORD COUNT: 322